In my very first blogpost (Pancakes) I mentioned that pre-ME I loved canoeing and even took part in a canoe-polo league. The ladies league combined with the youth league which unfortunately resulted in slightly built ladies like me facing teenage boys built like hulks ...
The only rule I remember of canoe-polo is ... when you are holding the ball, someone in the other team can push you into the water. The more skilled player can make a nifty twist of the oars and flip the canoe upright again without dropping the ball. I did try, and a very patient teacher allowed me to try repeatedly, but I never mastered it. So, I tended to skulk in defence and avoid holding the ball as much as I could because every time I took possession of the ball, a hulk from the opposing team would appear and push me in, before going on to score a goal.
You might ask, 'Why did I do it?' I have to say quickly that my river canoeing was more adept than my polo skills and I canoed for a couple of years before capsizing into a river. I'm sure, because I'm not a strong swimmer, it was sheer will-power rather than any particular skill that kept me in the canoe. The rapids at Grandtully were a favourite and challenging end to a day on the Tay. I took part in the polo because the team needed a fifth player and was often one down; they assured me that the team was better off with me as the fifth member than playing with only four, tho' I was never convinced.
My experience of ME is like catching the ball in canoe polo; here comes the ball ... you catch it ... and for a moment you think, Hey, here I go... full steam ahead ... target in sight ... I'm on a roll ... then ... wham ... one push... and down into the water you go. The Wham is ME and like ME it's unpredictable.
Unpredictable is the word that a rather scary Occupational Health doctor used to describe me when I ventured to ask if I had any rights as a disab...... 'Rights! Your employer has the right not to have someone as unpredictable as you working for them!'
The all-elusive flip is my belief that a cure will be found; a cure that will stop ME from knocking me down at every turn. I can't stop believing that the scientists worldwide working towards a biomedical cure will be successful ... and maybe one day I can get back into a canoe.
500 WORDS ON ME My blog aims to approach ME/CFS in under 500 words per post. Generally upbeat, sometimes angry, always optimistic ... tho' recently ...
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